


Devotion

by LKKG



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, Peeks and I are demisexual and we're shit at figuring out our feelings, no beta we die like men, yes this is in fact supposed to be cliche af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:34:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26384971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LKKG/pseuds/LKKG
Summary: He loves me, he loves me not.
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 9
Kudos: 56





	Devotion

**Author's Note:**

> I'm mad at Hanahaki stories because everyone always waits until the absolute last moment and that's BS, like if it's normalized then like, have it be normal.

Kurapika stared stupidly at the tiny specks in his hand.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"...petals..."  
  
Leorio grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand closer, folding open Kurapika's fingers to expose the collection of tiny blue petals. "Oh shit, Kurapika. I think those are forget-me-nots. I can look it up if you give me a second." Leorio released Kurapika's hand to riffle through his briefcase, pulling out the tiny reference book provided to all doctors (and doctors in training) for exactly situations like this. He flipped smoothly through the pages until he found the one he was looking for. "Okay, here we go. Forget-me-nots symbolize remembrance and loyalty and... true, undying love. Oh, Sunshine..."  
  
Kurapika met Leorio's sympathetic gaze and just stared.  
  
When Kurapika didn't respond, Leorio put a hand on Kurapika's arm. "You... you do know what this means, right?"  
  
"But... it can't be." Kurapika replied, looking at the petals in his hand.  
  
"Kurapika-"  
  
"No, no," Kurapika brushed his hands on his pants, as if removing the evidence would remove the cause. "No. It can't be."  
  
Leorio gripped Kurapika's shoulders. "Kurapika. This is serious. You need to deal with this. And soon. You know the risks."  
  
Kurapika pulled away, running his hand through his hair. "No, you don't get it, it can't be. I don't- there's no one- I don't feel that way for anyone."  
  
"Yeah, well, the flowers you just coughed up say otherwise. Look, I can help you work through this. I know a couple of good therapi-"  
  
"No!" Kurapika half-shouted, then glanced around them at the empty park. "No, no. I don't need therapy, I don't need anything, I'm not 'in love' with anyone."  
  
"Denying it won't change anything. This disease manifests because you have something you're repressing. The more you resist, the worse it will get, that's how it works."  
  
Kurapika sat down on a nearby bench and put his head in his hands. Leorio slid next to him and wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulders. "Look," he murmered as he rubbed his friend's back. "I get it. It can be hard to have feelings for someone. Can't we talk about it? There must be someone."  
  
Kurapika sighed. "I... I don't know. I'm telling you, there's no one."  
  
"Just... think about it, okay. I'll be here when you're ready to talk, but, Sunshine, you can't take too long, okay? You have a couple months before the next stage, but you should have addressed this by then."

Leorio watched as Kurapika doubled over in yet another coughing fit. He'd started carrying around a handkerchief to collect the petals. Leorio had been checking, as surreptitiously as possible, for any traces of blood amongst the tiny blue flecks. So far so good, but Kurapika was running out of time before the next stage. He'd shot Leorio down everytime he'd asked to talk and Leorio was thoroughly worried.  
  
He looked towards the door to make sure the boys were gone, then crossed to the couch, patting the cushion beside him. "Kurapika, come 'ere. We gotta talk."  
  
"Leorio, you know I don't want to."  
  
"I know, I know. Just sit."  
  
Kurapika hesitated, then joined him, curling up against the armrest.  
  
"You know my friend Pietro?" Leorio asked, keeping his eyes on the ground in front of him.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Well, I never told anyone this, but after he passed... I was in a bad place. I was so... angry... that he left me behind... that I didn't go to his funeral. Later that day I coughed up my first flower."  
  
"What? You?"  
  
"Yeah. Me. I still remember it. A single yellow alstroemeria. Means friendship, a strong platonic bond," he added, seeing Kurapika's confusion at the name. "I looked it up, saw what it meant, and I just knew I had to do something about it. The flower was... beautiful. Pietro always loved yellow flowers. It was exactly the wake up call I needed to get me out of that stupid, stupid place I was in."  
  
He felt Kurapika's hand on his leg.  
  
"It's okay," Leorio said, sniffling a little. "I went to his grave and put the flower on it and I apologized for not coming before and I cried my eyes out of course, 'cause I was twelve and had just lost my best friend and I fell asleep next to him. And that was it. I haven't had a single flower since."  
  
"You... never told me about this before."  
  
"I've never told anyone about it before. It's not exactly something I'm proud of. But I thought maybe you needed to hear it. The flowers aren't a curse, they're a gift. They make you face something you haven't let yourself feel or acknowledge, and that is...terrifying, trust me, I know. But it's better, in the long run, to accept it and embrace it."  
  
Kurapika remained silent.  
  
"You don't have to tell me who it is, but please, go talk to them. You know I'll support you no matter what and I'll help you any way you need."  
  
Kurapika gave his knee a gentle squeeze.  
  
Leorio waited, patiently, for Kurapika to speak. He'd always be patient for Kurapika. And he was rewarded when, a few minutes later, his friend spoke.  
  
"It was true, what I said before. I didn't know who it was at first. I've never... been interested in anyone before. Ever. I didn't think I ever would."  
  
"I hope there's a 'but' coming," Leorio interjected.  
  
Kurapika nodded. "But, one day I was with... this person and I was thinking about the flowers and I just... suddenly wanted to kiss them. Like, I really, really wanted to kiss them. And since then I can't /stop/ thinking about kissing them. Or how much I want them in my life, how much I want to be with them for the rest of my life."  
  
"Undying, pure, simple love. That's foget-me-nots."  
  
"Yeah, something like that," Kurapika mumbled, his face flushing pink. "But I just... now that I know, I'm so afraid. This person is... unique in my life and I literally do not know what I would do without them and risking my relationship with them..." Kurapika gestured wildly, at a loss for words.  
  
"If you don't take that risk, you won't have a life to share with them."  
  
Kurapika's voice dropped even quieter. "But they'd be with me for what time I did have left."  
  
"And they'd have to watch you die! Have you thought about what they want! Even if they don't feel the same way about you, if they're your friend they wouldn't want that! And don't get me started on the rest of us."  
  
"I...hadn't thought about it."  
  
Leorio snorted. "For someone as brilliant and selfless as you are, you can be so stupid and selfish sometimes."  
  
"I know I'm difficult."  
  
"Difficult doesn't even begin to cover it," Leorio grinned, giving his friend a gentle shove.  
  
Kurapika didn't smile back and turned away.  
  
"Kurapika? What's wrong?"  
  
"I know you're right, but..."  
  
"I'm always right. You aughta know that by now. And you really should do it soon. The risks increase exponentially once the next stage kicks in. So please, don't put it off. Do you want me to go with you? How soon can you meet with them?"  
  
Kurapika's gaze stayed nailed to the far wall and he turned away more and his fingers clenched around the hem of his shirt. He murmered something, but Leorio didn't catch it.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"I said, 'no need.'"  
  
Leorio cocked his head. "What do you mean, 'no need?'"  
  
"I mean... that meeting up with them won't be a problem. And I won't need you to come with me."  
  
Leorio opened his mouth, then closed it, trying to not let that sting. "Oh, okay. You wanna do it on your own, that's fine, whatever makes you comfortable."  
  
"No, I..." Kurapika cleared his throat. "Before I say anything more, do you really, honestly believe that if this person is my friend that they'll understand? That they won't... run away because of me? Because of this?"  
  
Leorio nodded.  
  
"Okay. Okay," Kurapika took a deep, shuttering breath.  
  
"Okay?" Leorio reached over to squeeze Kurapika's hand. As he went to pull away, Kurapika seized his hand in both of his and turned towards him, gathering his legs beneath him.  
  
"It's you," he blurted out. "It's... you. Please don't be angry with me."  
  
Leorio's mouth fell open, but all that came out was, "oh, Sunshine..."  
  
"I know. I'm sorry. Please don't worry about it. You don't have to respond. I don't expect anything from you."  
  
It wasn't until Kurapika moved to get up that his brain finally caught on, and he tightened his grip on Kurapika's hands. "No, no, Sunshine, that's not... why did you think I'd be mad?"  
  
"I-I don't know."  
  
"I'm not! I'm... g-d I'm happy." Leorio reached out with his free hand and carefully, slowly, cupped Kurapika's cheek. "I'm so happy."  
  
Kurapika swallowed hard, face half turning into Leorio's palm, then jerking away. Leorio raised his second hand to trap Kurapika's cheeks and force his gaze up to meet his. "Sunshine, I'm so, so happy. You have no idea how happy you've made me."  
  
"W-why?"  
  
"Because, I haven't been able to stop thinking about kissing you since we met."  
  
Kurapika stared at him, unblinking. "I... I don't understand."  
  
"I'm saying I want to kiss you. May I?"  
  
"I-I-I..." Kurapika looked like a deer in the headlights of a runaway freight train; stunned, but also aware of what he clearly believed to be impending doom.  
  
"Kurapika," Leorio said softly. "It's a simple yes or no question."  
  
"Y-y-ye-yes? But-"  
  
Leorio cut him off, placing the gentlest kiss in existence on his lips, letting it linger for a moment before he deepened it a fraction, turning his head to better slot their noses together, savoring the sweet taste of Kurapika's lip balm. Then he pulled away, watching in awe as Kurapika's eyes fluttered back open. "Well?" He asked. "Did reality live up to your expectations? Because they definitely surpassed mine."  
  
"You kissed me?" Kurapika asked dumbly, a trembling hand coming up to touch his fingertips to his lips.  
  
"Yes, and I'd like to continue to do so for as long as you'll let me."  
  
"You, you've wanted to kiss me?"  
  
"Since the moment we met. You were being such a little shit and I just wanted to grab you and kiss you and shut that snarky mouth of yours."  
  
"You... like me?"  
  
"Just out of curiosity, how many times do you intend on confirming this? Don't get me wrong, I'll continue to do so however many times you need, but I can definitely think of a few things I'd rather be doing. And for the record, I don't like you. I love you. There's a big difference."  
  
"You love me."  
  
Leorio almost rolled his eyes. "Yes."  
  
"But," Kurapika placed a hand against Leorio's face, thumb brushing gently over his stubble. "You were going to come with me." When he saw the confusion spread across Leorio's face, he specified. "To confess to the person I loved. You were going to help me do it."  
  
"Of course. I want you to be happy. If the person liked you back, than awesome and I could keep an eye on you and make sure eveything went well, and if they didn't they'd be an idiot and I'd be there to console you."  
  
"You weren't... you weren't going to tell me?"  
  
Leorio leaned forwards and pressed a kiss to the sweet furrow between Kurapika's brows. "No, Sunshine. I wasn't. Not in this situation. You were under enough pressure. I've always wanted you to agree to be with me out of your own free will, and that wouldn't have been it."  
  
"But you do love me? And you want to be with me?"  
  
Leorio groaned playfully. "Yes, yes, and a thousand times, yes! Now, are you going to keep asking or may I kiss you again?"  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm just...processing. Everything. I never... I never thought you would... I barely let myself hope..." Kurapika held Leorio's face, looking over it like he was relearning it. Then his gaze settled on Leorio's lips and a tiny, hesitant smile crept cautiously across his own. "I... I can't believe that I've... kissed you. It's all I've been thinking about for weeks."  
  
"Well," Leorio's lips turned up in a mischievous grin. "I hate to get all technical on you, but I kissed you, not the other way around. The good news is, I'd be very, very interested in remedying that."  
  
"I... I think I'd like to try, yes. I'm not really sure I know how to do it," Kurapika admitted, blushing.  
  
"It's not terrifically complicated. You take your lips and then you put them on mine. But, if you're really not sure, I'm always happy to let you practice on me. In fact, I insist you do, and that you do so exclusively with me."  
  
Kurapika laughed. "Yeah, okay. Agreed. I guess... I guess I can give it a try." So saying, he leaned forward, bringing them together in a soft, bumbling kiss. Leorio wrapped his arms around Kurapika's waist and dragged him over until Kurapika was settled comfortably on his lap, then slipped a hand into honey-blond hair to kiss Kurapika harder.  
  
After a few, long minutes they pulled apart for air and between breaths, Leorio huffed out, "can we agree that the only forget-me-nots I expect to see from here on out are in nature or a bouquet?"  
  
"Yes please."


End file.
